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A: I think your ultimatum sounds like a necessary one, if you are willing to stick to it.
I’ll also throw in a plug for counseling (couples’ counseling, if your husband is open to coming with you, and individually if not) to help you figure out how best to define and communicate your limits.
I have stayed out of his relationship with his daughter “Jessica.” I don’t think highly of her—she has been given every advantage in life and squandered it.
She got pregnant in college and failed out (we paid for that), and managed to wreck her car (that her mother gave her).
I thought she had finally grown up after she met and married “Kyle.” He works full-time and even adopted her son, but doesn’t make a lot of money.
My husband sold his house and moved in with me four years ago.
We all grew up together and I’ve always felt we had a strong connection, but it was only months before they began dating that I began to consider my feelings as more than a friendship.
Meetings are free, some are available online, and “the only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.” Your decision not to share this with your sister or her girlfriend is, I think, a wise one, and while I can’t promise that this is going to go away overnight, I do think that with therapeutic work and assistance you will find things get better.
I have tried hanging out with them together to show myself how happy they are together.
When that didn’t work, I hoped the semester that I was taking abroad would do the trick, but the feelings didn’t abate.
She is smart, engaging to be around, caring—I have never felt quite like this about any crushes I’ve had before.
The issue: She has been dating my twin sister for about a year now. We are all women, and this is the first time I have had feelings for any woman—however, they are also a good deal stronger than feelings that I have had in the past for men, which I was always able to brush off as being a simple crush.
His Facebook posts and comments are appalling: racist, xenophobic, misogynistic and overall hateful. I am desperate to block him (or, at least, unfriend him), as I’m disgusted at myself for keeping him as my “friend,” even if it’s just on Facebook.